Get Free Fam,

If you're Stateside, I hope you're enjoying the holiday weekend. As a Brit, Juneteenth isn't one I grew up with, but it's one I'm so glad is (finally, post–George Floyd) built into the federal holiday calendar. Yes, it's an extra day off, but it's not about that. It's about what it represents: a recognition of the day all enslaved African Americans were — finally and officially — free. The Emancipation Proclamation ending slavery was issued two years prior, on January 1, 1863, but it took TWO YEARS for word to reach the last of the enslaved in Galveston, Texas (no internet, y'all), on June 19, 1865 — hence, Juneteenth. A case of we're not free until we're ALL free.

I read a great piece from the National Museum of African American History and Culture (aka, The Blacksonian) that explains Juneteenth, but it's this part from one of the contributors, Angela Tate, former curator of African American Women's History, that I want to tug on for this issue of The Get Free Guide:

If you're new here, welcome! The Get Free Guide is all about how we Get Free when we feel stuck, even when everything appears to be fine. You can dig into the archives here, and check out a few of my personal favorites: the power of saying "I don't know," why it's important to celebrate yourself, and our first Get Free Convo podcast about dealing with life and grief with podcaster Keisha “TK” Dutes.

OK, so back to Juneteenth. Through this newsletter, I — clearly — think a lot about freedom. Just this weekend I was a panelist at a career fair for first-generation college students. All the participants were ready, listening closely and taking notes. We talked about the pathways to getting hired, staying relevant in your field, and the benefits of curiosity. But we also talked about the need to rest, to say no, and to be OK with walking away if an opportunity isn't right for you. I don't know that I would've said any of that even two years ago. Rest and self-care can, when we're not careful, be performative, but the real care is when you can cut out the noise and truly make a decision that is right for YOU — even though it may look questionable to others (like we talked about last week in Your Life Isn't a Democracy.)

But let's answer these questions Angela Tate posed.

What does it mean to really celebrate our freedom? Well, I ask something else: are we celebrating at all? When was the last time you celebrated yourself (yes, I'm linking this piece twice because it's important!)? Took time to soak in something that matters to you? A personal goal, a promotion, a win, a day to just sit and be? Or when was the last time you just hung out with a homie for no good reason other than to talk smack, catch up, and giggle like kids? Celebration doesn't have to be big, fancy, and for show. It can happen every day, if you make time for it.

And then there's the other part of Angela Tate's question: What does it mean to be free in moments where freedom is conditional, and freedom is always a challenge?

Here's a thought: if your freedom feels conditional or challenging, really question the source of that. Does it feel like someone or something is standing in your way? Or is it a narrative you have about yourself?

An example: For as many years as I've been alive, I've always said "numbers are not my ministry, but words are my jam." I literally said this yesterday at the career fair, and I need to stop, because it's not actually true. I had a math teacher who told me I'm not good at math. That teacher was also a prize asshole. In business, I've never seen a P&L I don't like, and a budget hates to see me coming. I'm not going to bust out some Pythagorean theorem just for giggles, but when was I ever going to use that? (If you use it, please share how!)

As for challenges, they will always be there. Always. But what systems do you have in place to help you through the tough seasons? There's freedom there. If your boss is getting on your last entire nerve, or you're navigating job insecurity, or figuring out a tricky issue at home, your support network will save you — literally and figuratively. Building trust and community in the good times makes it easier to turn to those who know you and have your back when the skies are a little grey (and in turn, you're there for them too — this is a two-way street.)

Getting free isn't a one-and-done. It's a process and a practice that we'll all tackle for the rest of our lives. This is a good thing! So, here are two things to do this week (or soon):

Check in on your supporters: In friend groups and professional relationships, there's always a person who is gold-star-worthy because they do all the reaching out, planning, and keeping folks connected. If this is you, thank you! If this isn't you, spend some time reaching out and checking on your people. Book a phone date, drop in with some texts of encouragement, really see how they're doing and what they might need. Support their projects and be an ear when it all feels like too much. If you're a person of faith, hear their requests and pray for them. It can really mean a lot.

Check on yourself: When was the last time you took a moment to reflect or to celebrate? The middle of the year is creeping up on us. This is a great time to take stock of the first half of the year, not to set goals, but to see where you need to recalibrate.

Check on your elders: It's Father's Day today (have a good day, all the GFF dads, uncles, godfathers, and father figures, and sending a big hug to anyone navigating complicated feelings around fathers and fathering, or missing their papas). Check on your elders, whether family members or not. If we are fortunate, we will all make it to a good age. Our elders can teach us so much of what freedom can mean, either by example or cautionary tale. Be sure to say hi.

🗓️This week: If you’re navigating perimenopause and menopause, join The Get Free Guide and AfroLA for this real talk session on Wednesday June 24. It’s free, just RSVP - click on the logo below!

📚Get Free Resources: Check out our growing collection of Get Free Guides to help you navigate life and Get Free

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See you next week!