👏🏾Get Free: Take Time to Celebrate

Hey Get Free Fam, 

We’re now in the warp-speed part of the year. You know what I’m talking about: that post summer, pre end-of-year period where you look at your calendar and it says September but somehow you’re already making plans for January 2026. How did that happen? HOW? Talking of calendars, I’m working on a lil something, something for y’all that will drop next month. More soon!

Before we dig into this week’s Get Free, a big HELLO and THANK YOU to all the new GFFs! It really means a lot that you’d choose to spend time trying to get free with me and the rest of the crew, especially when so much is going on in the world. Over the past three months (!) we’ve tried getting free from inbox chaos, talked about why it’s OK to be selfish and delved into numbers and our bodies. This is a community and safe space for questions, exploration and sharing YOUR wisdom about getting free (here’s an example of how you all show up for each other.) House rule: we don’t gatekeep! If you think others might find The Get Free Guide useful or even just raise a smile, please share. And if you’ve got questions or comments email [email protected], hit reply to this letter, or submit questions and comments here.

SO HOW ARE WE GETTING FREE THIS WEEK?

Wherever you are right now, I need you to start clapping. Don’t worry, you might look a little unhinged for a moment but you’re getting free. Three, two, one … GO!

Congratulations! You finally took a few seconds to clap 👏🏿for👏🏿 yourself!

Here’s the deal: I am T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E at celebrating myself, always have been, and talking with friends, many are the same. Whether it’s a work endeavor or personal project, big deal or something as small as remembering to put the cap on the toothpaste (please put the cap on the toothpaste!!) the wins go unrecognized and we’re on to the next like nothing happened. 

Why are we like this? When we’re chasing goals and achievements we have to do more and more for it to FEEL like we’re doing anything. Newsflash: this isn’t sustainable. And yes, social media is partly to blame but the glow up on the ‘gram only tells part of the story. The tough times don’t make the reel.

But imagine this (stay with me, I’ve got baking on my mind right now!):

You enter a pie making contest with the most incredible baked specimen. The crust is delectable, flaky, buttery, melt-in-your-mouth goodness. Martha Stewart would be proud. The filling is perfect, fruit bursting with flavor and just the right sweet-to-tart ratio. The judge takes a bite, rolls her eyes and staggers back as the taste ignites her soul. She recovers, smiles and gives you the nod. Your creation wins!! 🏆 And the prize? More damn pie.🥧

HERE’S THE THING…

We don’t want or need more of the same when we’re trying to mark our best days. Yes, celebrating takes time, but you’re worth every second of it. When we don’t, everything just becomes more pie (and subpar pie at that.) And on the other side of this, bosses, colleagues, friends or family might also skip over your wins and contributions. In the workplace this translates to being tasked with the messy stuff “because you’re good at it” with no extra pay or perks. You know what all this leads to? Burnout with a side of bitter. No bueno. 

CALL IN YOUR FRIENDS

We all need a little nudge. Life is busy and I get why these high points slide by. For example my homies are smart, accomplished human beings but I’ve lost count of the times they mention a win in passing like “Oh, I saved the world before breakfast today, but no bigs. I’m working on a Noble Prize-worthy project now. What’s for lunch?” Nope. Nah. No. Take time to reflect on what you’ve done! When we see our friends sliding by a win, call them in, show them love and remind them how awesome they are. (And if I know you IRL and you think this is you, this. is. you! I love you xo)

SO HOW DO WE GET FREE FROM OUR NO CELEBRATION SHENANIGANS?

Grab a piece of paper and write down three wins from this year so far - it can be anything. Here are mine:

• I’ve kept my office desk drawers organized!

• I hit a subscriber goal for The Get Free Guide this week! 

• I signed copies of my book for the first time in 13 years!

Now the next step: share these wins with someone in your circle (and if you’d like to, let me know, I love to hoop and holler for people’s wins!) Just how we workout to build muscle or practice to improve a new skill, we have to do the same with celebrating ourselves so it becomes a habit. Here are some ways to clap for yourself:

• Treat yourself to something that can act as a reminder of a success. It doesn’t have to be expensive but something meaningful to you. I often buy a pair of earrings. 

• Write yourself a card and mail it: You don’t have to wait for people to congratulate you. During a tumultuous time in one job, I wrote myself a card of what I bring to the table, put it in the mail and then on a day I felt underappreciated and just over it, I opened it and it put me back on track

• Share the moment! The best text messages are from friends sharing a win! 

• Take some time to pat yourself on the back: how does this win feel? What’s a lesson you will take forward from this moment? Write it down

• If this is a business or work win, you better tell LinkedIn about it! The job market is wild. Staying ready is also about crafting the narrative of your work. Future employers and recruiters WILL look at your LinkedIn. Sprinkle those wins into your feed so YOU tell the story of your work over a period of time, not just when you’re searching for your next opportunity. This post from Shantae Howell makes the point beautifully.

What are you going to do to get free and celebrate yourself this week? Let me know!

🚀Get Your Life: Things to read, listen to, enjoy🚀

📚What I’m reading:  Do you know, I’ve never read my own book cover to cover? I grabbed a few copies following an event last week and now I’m cracking open the cover of Redefining Black Power: Reflections on the State of Black America. It only took me 13 years!  If you’re in LA there are signed copies at Zibby’s Books in Santa Monica or order through Octavia’s Bookshelf in Pasadena, CA (support local book stores!)

🎧What’s on the pod:  A great episode of the NY Times’ The Interview with Brené Brown. A good one if you work in leadership or are navigating change.

🎵 Soundtrack for the week: Another one for the Get Free playlist. Fantasia’s Free Yourself house remix. Big tune!

✨ If you’ve got a recommendation drop me a line. ✨

THANKS FOR READING!

If you got something out of this issue of The Get Free Guide, give us a follow or a shout out on Instagram and share the love with a friend. We don’t gatekeep around here!

See you next Friday!