Welcome to Sunday, Get Free Fam,

And welcome to this week’s new subscribers - I see y’all heading over from YPP and others finding Get Free from Instagram and the general interwebs. Good to have you here! Life is life-ing, but Getting Free isn’t a one and done situation. It’s steps (big and small) that get us unstuck. Head on over to the archive to see how we’ve tackled technology, layoffs and getting OK with asking for help (because we don’t know how, right?)

Before we dive in, a thought for the week: we really have to make time to document and reflect on what we do. A few days ago, someone asked me, “What was the highlight of your month? And tell me about a win.” The way I searched my brain for an answer like I was on a quest with Dora the Explorer, it was a whole expedition! But y’all, March ended not even two weeks ago!

So here’s the reminder, especially as we’re just weeks into the start of the second quarter of 2026: keep a record of your wins. The email from your boss giving you props for a job well done, the personal goal you set yourself and achieved, the victory that you would usually just brush off as No Big Deal, IT IS A BIG DEAL! Make time to record those wins and moments that matter to you somewhere: use pen and paper, record an audio note, write on a brag wall, somewhere! So when someone asks you, “Hey, share a win,” you don’t have to scale Mount Everest to find it.

So let’s start a Win Wagon. I just made that up, but ™! Email [email protected] so even if you don’t write it down, you shared “the thing” somewhere! Maybe we’ll make a Win Wagon™ section of the newsletter so we can be inspired by the GFFs and all the ways we’re out here getting free. Vamanos!

Don’t worry, I’m not shoutin’ and hoopin’ and hollerin’! But when was the last time you had a tough conversation? Some people are born for tough talk and will say what they want, when they want, to whoever they want without batting an eyelid. And some of us would literally prefer to wash dishes by hand for a lifetime than get into arguments and confrontations with anyone, like, ever.

But, and this is a big but: Having an argument is not the same as tough talk.

Let me say that again:

Having an argument is NOT the same as tough talk.

You know why? Because sometimes the tough talk is with ourselves.

Uh-huh…

I had some tough talk with myself recently because, thanks to tax season, I spotted a bunch of subscriptions and autopays that are merrily removing dollars from my bank account, but I’M NOT USING ANY OF THE PRODUCTS. Or, as my homie said when we talked about the many domain names we have both secured but never acted on, we’re paying money “to a graveyard of dreams.” Ouch. And also: facts.

But sometimes the tough talk is needed when people in your life aren’t acting right, not listening, or things just feel…off. You can’t always be the bigger person. You can’t always just brush things off. There are times when the tough talk has to happen.

Maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s my algo, but in recent weeks I’ve read multiple social posts and feature articles about the ending of adult friendships. Many of the narratives are some version of “they just stopped talking to me” or “we never had a conversation about what was wrong.”

A quick pause for the cause - talking of conversations…

I’ll be sharing details of the upcoming Get Free Conversation series next week! I’m SO excited! Get on the waitlist!

OK - back to some tough talk…

Friendships end, but do they ever really end for either party if the tough talk never happens? Leaving a loose thread doesn’t, imo, make way for peace or healing. The tough talk feels awful in the moment, but, when done with respect, can leave all parties, with the benefit of time, at peace.

I’ll be honest, there are friends (former friends?) I no longer talk to, and we never had the tough talk. We just drifted. Over the years, we’ve connected via email or text, even chatted a few times, but it’s not the same. I sometimes wonder if I did or said something wrong, and for a long time I wracked my brain to find an answer. But without being willing to have the tough talk, I just have to let it be and wish them well from afar. It doesn’t hurt so much now, but I wish I’d just had the conversation, if only to apologize, if appropriate, or process and move on.

Is there a time limit for tough talks? That’s a real question. What do you think? Have you gone back years after a breakup or a drift apart and said something? You can email [email protected]

Having tough talks isn’t just about friendships. Sometimes they need to happen in the workplace. It can be everything from “don’t eat my food in the fridge” to more serious issues that involve HR. But whether personal or professional, tough conversations have a way of setting up camp in our bodies when we avoid them. They turn into tension, side-eye, irritation, people pleasing, fake smiling, and whole internal monologues that deserve their own podcast deal.

The truth is, a hard conversation will not always go perfectly. But avoiding it doesn’t usually bring peace. It often just brings delay. And in that delay, resentment gets louder, confusion gets deeper, and the story in your head starts applying for full-time employment.

So, here are a few ways to practice getting free in your personal life and at work.

1. Name the real issue in one sentence
Before you talk, write down what this is actually about. Not the 17 side quests. Not the whole relationship history. Just the thing.
Try: “I feel hurt about what happened, and I want to clear it up instead of letting it sit.”
Clarity will take you further than emotional freestyle.

2. Start smaller and softer than your anxiety wants to
A hard conversation does not have to begin at level 10. You don’t need a dramatic speech. You just need an honest opening.
Try: “Can we talk about something that’s been on my mind?” Or: “I care about us, so I want to say this clearly.”
That kind of opening makes room for truth without making it feel like an ambush.

3. Stay with the present moment
When emotions rise, resist the urge to pull out every old receipt from 1999. Keep coming back to what happened, how it landed, and what you need now.
Try: “What I’m talking about is this specific moment, and why it mattered to me.”
That keeps the conversation grounded and gives it a better chance of actually going somewhere useful.

1. Lead with the issue, not the essay
At work, people love to bury the actual problem under context, disclaimers, and professional throat-clearing. Get to the point kindly, but get there.
Try: “I want to raise a concern about how this landed and talk about a better way forward.”
As Brené Brown says: “Clear is kind.” A five-minute preamble is not, and nobody’s got time for that.

2. Focus on impact, not character
The goal is not to label someone as careless, dismissive, rude, or impossible. The goal is to describe what happened and what it affected.
Try: “When the timeline changed and I wasn’t informed, it created extra work on my side and made it harder to deliver well.”
That gives people something real to respond to without turning it into a personality trial.

3. Leave with a next step
Do not end a hard work conversation with vibes and ambiguity. End with a clear agreement, a decision, or a follow-up.
Try: “Going forward, can we agree to flag changes earlier?” Or: “Let’s check back next week and see if this feels better in practice.”
A tough talk without a next step is just stress wearing business casual.

Sometimes getting free looks like saying, this hurt me. Sometimes it looks like saying, this is not working for me. Sometimes it looks like saying, I want better than this, and I’m willing to be honest enough to try. And no, that does not make you difficult. It makes you clear.

Whether personal or professional, there’s a beginning, middle and end to tough talks:

Before:
What is true? What do I need? What outcome am I hoping for?

During:
Say it clearly. Stay specific. Listen carefully. Hold your line.

After:
Pay attention to actions, not just words.

What tough talks, with others or yourself, are you having this week? Let’s hear how things worked out. Email [email protected]

🚀Get Your Life: Things to read, listen to, enjoy🚀

A special edition! Adding some more resources if you’re planning a tough talk this week (or soon!)

📚What I’m reading:

Brené Brown, “Clear Is Kind. Unclear Is Unkind.”
For those moments when you need the reminder that being vague is not the same thing as being nice.

Brené Brown with Aiko Bethea, “Inclusivity at Work: The Heart of Hard Conversations”
A strong listen on telling the truth at work, especially when the stakes are high and the room gets uncomfortable.

Psychology Today, “The Hidden Cost of Avoiding Hard Conversations”
A useful read on why silence feels easier in the moment but usually costs us more in the long run.

🎵 Soundtrack for the week:

A reminder that I need to do WAY more with my Spanish, but this Bad Bunny Tiny Desk (much like the Super Bowl halftime show) needs no translation. Perfecto!

✨ If you’ve got a recommendation drop me a line: [email protected]✨

If you got something out of this issue of The Get Free Guide, give us a follow or a shout out on Instagram and share the love with a friend. We don’t gatekeep around here!

See you next week!