⚖️Get Free: Weight Ain’t Nothing But a Number

Hey Get Free Fam, 

Welcome to #getfreefriday! Hope you’re doing well, being kind to yourself and, you know what I’m going to say, please drink some water! In fact, take a sip now…

So, I’m going to jump right in this week because if I don’t I might change my mind and decide to share a different Get Free moment. But to keep it 💯 I wrote this issue back in March before The Get Free Guide was officially out in the world and I was getting some things off of my chest.

Some rules for reading: I am a human being, this is a real and sensitive topic for many of us, but because we’re fam and I said I’d always keep things honest as I navigate getting free, I’m sharing. Discussing our bodies is always touchy, so I’m also going to ask you to be kind to yourself, too. Cool? Cool!

WORDS VS. NUMBERS

Here’s the thing - and if you’re reading this or know me IRL this will not come as a shock: I love words. As a kid I would spend hours reading, speaking out loud (a bit too much)  and - on occasion - writing a good essay. But I never had the same relationship with numbers (beyond making sure my pocket money and paper round pennies were correct. Still the same today!) Numbers always felt sterile and bland to me. You can’t make them sing the way you can with words. Back then numbers couldn’t tell a story. That is, until they did. 

It started with clothes sizes; that little number on the tag of your skirt, shirt or trousers. That number, especially among teens, meant something. And then it became about the number on the scale, and my number was never where it was “supposed” to be. 

Today, that number still isn’t where it’s “supposed” to be. Right now it’s 226.4. That’s how much I weigh. In UK money that’s 16 stone. And no, I’m not seven feet tall so that puts me squarely in the Fluffy and Fine category (I made that up, but it works for me!) I share because if I talk around this number, nothing really changes and there’s no getting free. 

SHAME CAN’T HURT YOU

When I tell you I wrote this number ten times before deciding to keep it in. Why? Shame. The shame has always been there, ever since I was a teen, but it’s really intensified in the last five years. Like so many people I’ve fought with myself because this number haunts me every time I stand on the scale, go to the doctor for a check up, or any time I have to complete a form that asks for my height and weight. It’s something I feel the need to hide, because - in my head - that number says something about who I am. And at times what that number says about me - to me - isn’t always good or kind. 

About a year ago I listened to the brilliant Weight For It podcast by Ronald Young, Jr. In it he details his life as a large person and how fat-phobia shows up in everything from clothing and relationships to how our doctors treat us. We don’t need to be ashamed of our bodies - they host our brilliance, keep us safe and bring us joy. But years of being told “you’re not RIGHT” or (physically) “you’re too much” can get to you. It got to me. 

I’ve always been sporty, and back in 2008 I decided to train for a marathon, a real challenge as I was more of a sprinter in my younger days. For six months I spent time on the pavement and built up my mileage until I could run 26.2 miles. And while I didn’t break any world records on race day, I proudly crossed the finish line using the steam of my own - very tired and swollen - feet. I was FIT and STRONG.

THERE’S A BUT…

A week after the marathon, I went for my annual check up. I had to wait for two hours to see the doctor and was held in waiting room prison. The nurse took my temperature and blood pressure, made me stand on a scale and then I waited. When the doctor eventually came in, she didn’t look at me, or engage me in any conversation. Instead she told me I had high blood pressure, was obese and needed to take hypertension meds and exercise more. She also went on to say that I should cut out sugar, salt and red meat.

It took everything in me not to cuss her out, or cry, or both. So instead I blinked really hard, took a breath and said:

“I have not eaten red meat in about 15 years. My diet is mostly fish and plants. Salt is a minimum in my diet, as is sugar. And I ran a marathon a week ago. My blood pressure is high because I’ve been sitting in this room for two hours and I have deadlines and work to do.”

At this point, the doctor looked up. She’d made every assumption possible about me and my lifestyle because I was a woman, Black and obese - according to the scale and mythical BMI numbers.

Because she was already ten toes down on the high blood pressure meds, she still wrote a prescription. Suffice to say, I never filled it, and guess what? My blood pressure remains just fine.

But to this day, I don’t talk about my weight (well, I guess I do now!) Not even my husband, who really could care less what I weigh, knows what the scale says - and this man knows ALL my numbers! I avoided going for my annual check up for a year because I just didn’t want to deal with my own disappointment, and the look of “get it together” from the doctor (not the one who tried to give me high blood pressure meds!) When I eventually went for my physical in July, she told me I’d gained weight 🙄, quizzed me on portion sizes (half a banana is one portion of fruit, y’all, just fyi) and then said I could scan a diet guide she used that recommends around 1000 calories a day and featured a woman’s bare naked ass cheeks on the front. I was in true disbelief, but I scanned the document and then went out to the nurse’s station to get the print out with my height, weight and blood pressure measurements with my ID info at the top. Let’s face it: we’re all just a combination of numbers.

All of this has l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y weighed me down and I know I’m not the only one. Just this week the G.O.A.T Serena Williams shared that she’s using a GLP-1 weight loss injection and is down 31lbs. She didn’t have to share, but she did to quash the rumors around her weight loss. She’s a grown woman and can do whatever she wants but some of the comments attack the choice she made for her own health and wellbeing. Seriously, how are people comfortable commenting on the body of a world class athlete (or anyone, really?)

But all of this said, it’s time to get free of this weight shame. So I’m kicking this into the Get Free bucket. Now that you know what my scale says, it can’t WEIGH me down (see what I did there?) I’m funny at every size, folks. 

SO, WHAT’S THE GET FREE ACTIVITY?

I just did it! For me, something that’s kept in the dark becomes less scary in the light. But I recognize speaking openly and publicly about weight isn’t right for everyone.

Carrying extra weight - or being underweight - doesn’t signal a lack of intelligence, or that you’re not cute, or can’t run a business or be a good partner and parent. It’s literally a number, a data point of information that can be used to make informed decisions. So if you’re dodging the doctor, make your appointment now. Knowing your A1C is important. Seeing the trends of your blood pressure is important. Knowing your cholesterol levels or whether you need a new glasses prescription all play into your quality of life. Knowledge is power, and data ain’t nothing but a number. 

GFFs GETTING FREE!

The Get Free Guide is about how we’re ALL getting free in our own ways. Here’s one comment that came through this week:

I’d love to hear your thoughts! (click to complete the form) or email [email protected] about getting free or to comment on today’s issue. You can also follow along on Instagram where I’ll be sharing some Get Free Q&As and resources on this week’s topic. If you’re not following already, I’d love to see you over there! And most importantly, share this issue - we don’t gate keep here and I’m keen to continue the conversation.

🚀Get Your Life: Things to read, listen to, enjoy🚀

🎧What’s on the pod: As mentioned earlier, but in case you missed it, Weight For It by Ronald Young, Jr. Love his work and his storytelling and this series.

🎵 Soundtrack for the week: A recommendation from GFF Erica, some Brazilian vibes courtesy of Rogê - Existe Uma Voz. A sound of summer!

✨ If you’ve got a recommendation drop me a line. ✨

THANKS FOR READING!

If you got something out of this issue of The Get Free Guide, give us a follow or a shout out on Instagram and share the love with a friend. We don’t gatekeep around here!

See you next Friday!