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GFFs,

It's our BIRTHDAY! Somehow, The Get Free Guide is:

📆A whole 52 weeks 📜48 issues 🤩60+ emojis and over 100 GIFs ✍🏾57,000 words 🗫 Two in-person events📽️One video podcast episode (and more on the way!) 📚 A health guide and a time management guide …and over 300 subscribers who read each and every week

Can you believe it? My flabbers are ghasted that this little grain of an idea, hatched in the middle of the night under the glow of Christmas lights, is now read in states across the US and overseas in the UK, Ghana, the Caribbean, Canada, and the Philippines. The GFFs are global, baby!

The Get Down

When I launched The Get Free Guide, I knew what I wanted it to be: a space to be honest about the messy, funny, hard, beautiful work of trying to live life on your own terms. I knew I was tired of performing "fine" when things weren't. I knew I wasn't the only one. And I knew that between all of us, we had something to offer each other.

What I didn't know is that writing this newsletter every week would teach me as much as (maybe more than) anything I put in it. Sitting here looking back, it also reminds me that time will pass whether you do something with it or not. Choose wisely.

What are some nuggets you've taken away from The Get Free Guide this year? What have you tried? What have you shared? Or what questions do you have? I'd love to hear from you: [email protected].

So in honor of our first trip around the sun, here are twelve things this year of Getting Free taught me.

The Get Free: 12 Things a Year Taught Me

1. Do the things you really don't want to do. When I tell you the struggle I've had with social media for The Get Free Guide. A full on love/hate, on-off relationship because I just didn't know what I wanted it to be. It's OK to return to things with a fresh eye and a clear mind. It's also OK to let things go and move on with your life. The lesson: Things take time. Give yourself space to fail, figure things out, and yes, maybe grow to enjoy something you previously said "nah" to. Here's an example of what happened when I leaned into having fun…

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2. Hiding is pointless. The way I was NOT trying to make The Get Free Guide public — it was more work keeping it quiet than just letting it be. I honestly don't even know what I was concerned about. Creating this space has brought me joy. Why would I hide that? Putting your light out in the world could be exactly what someone else needs, so if you won't do it for yourself, do it for someone else. The lesson: Side hustles aren't just about earning extra cash, but a path to mental freedom, too. Nurture your ideas — you never know where they can take you. Hustles also detangle your identity from your paycheck. Which leads to…

3. Work is not your entire life. Whether it's a layoff, a pivot, or a quiet season of "what's next," your value doesn't live in your LinkedIn headline. Your creativity, your experience, your brilliance? Wherever you are, they go with you and can't get restructured out. This issue about layoffs remains one of the most popular so far. We're in a season of upheaval in the workplace and it's making people tired on all sides. Whatever side of a layoff you're on, you can only control what you can control. The lesson: Always move with integrity, do right by people, and remember that the layoff is not your fault.

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4. Conversation > texts. We all contribute to the 23 billion text messages that swirl around the world each day, but when was the last time you picked up the phone and CALLED someone? The convenience is real, but so is the cost. We are losing our histories — what we think, what we feel — to a thread that disappears with a phone upgrade. (That 2012 text chain was FIRE. You know who you are, lol!) Put down the tiny keyboard every now and then, pick up the phone, or write an actual letter. The delayed gratification is worth it. The lesson: Every day, I try to take one call on the phone and walk. Love the benefit of getting some steps, taking in some sun, connecting with a voice, and turning my eyes away from a screen. Taking that one with me into Get Free year two!

5. Life is better with an empty inbox. I walked into this newsletter year with 24,000 unread emails across four inboxes. TWENTY. FOUR. THOUSAND. Every one of those messages was living in my head rent-free. The freedom of getting to zero was so real I sent screenshots to three friends. A bunch of small adds up to a whole lot of much. Don't let the little stuff hold you down. However, there's a lesson: Extend grace to yourself when you slip into bad habits. I ended up with many thousands of unread messages and had to detox my inbox all over again. We're all a work in progress! NOTE: If you’re struggling with your inbox and digital ephemera, dates for the next Digital Detox coming next week!

Such a great day: an empty inbox that lasted all of about two days. Why are we like this?!

6. I broke up with the scale. Issue 12 — Weight Ain't Nothing But a Number — was the hardest thing I wrote this year. Actually, I take that back. Writing it was simple. Making it public was hard. I shared my actual weight (GASP!) because things kept in the dark become scary. What came back was a flood of "me too" and conversations about doctors who dismiss us without looking up, numbers that haunt us, and bodies that carry more than their fair share of judgment. I ran a marathon and was told I needed to exercise more. Could you imagine?! The shame is real, and it keeps us from the doctor's office, from knowing our own numbers, and from taking care of ourselves. Knowing your A1C, your blood pressure, your cholesterol: that's not a punishment, that's power. The lesson: I stopped paying attention to the scale and got really focused on data that could save my life. This approach isn't for everybody, but it was a necessary recalibration that's healthy for me.

7. Honesty in public can start a movement. Issue 12 led directly to Your Body, Your Numbers, our first live event in partnership with AfroLA: a real room full of real people talking about health without judgment.

Images from the Your Body, Your Numbers event at Octavia’s Bookshelf in Pasadena, CA.

That happened because one issue told the truth. The lesson: Never underestimate what showing up honestly can start. (P.S. You can still download your free health guide. Also, sign up for AfroLA’s newsletter which was sparked - in part - by Your Body, Your Numbers.)

Nobody Told Me This

Nobody Told Me This

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8. Simplicity will save your ass. We are wired to add: more tools, more tasks, more complexity. But some of the most powerful Get Free moments this year came from subtracting. A "not to do" list matters just as much as a to-do one. When a problem comes along, ask what you can take away, not just what you can add. The lesson: Use the tools you have, like this time management guide! I've been watching my time and being vigilant about where it goes and who has it, because there's no getting it back. Boundaries, friends. Boundaries!

9. It's OK to fail. I set a subscriber goal and did not hit it. Not even close. And then I looked at what I did do: new readers, two events, a community partnership, almost 50 weeks of showing up. Failure, by its actual definition, means you tried something. There are worse things. The lesson: As the trainer at my old gym would say, just show up. It won't hurt!

10. Saying "I don't know" is freedom. Probably my three favorite words, and they are wildly underused. "I don't know" infuriates people because sometimes they're just using you as a shortcut to information they could easily obtain themselves. Reclaim your time, friends! Not knowing isn't weakness, it's honesty, and honesty will keep you free. The pressure to have all the answers is keeping us stuck. So when you don't know, just say so. Folks will figure it out (or not, but that's their journey, not your problem.) The lesson: Pair "I don't know" with "no," which is a full and complete sentence.

11. Silence is productive. Rest is not laziness, and quiet isn't a nice-to-have, it's necessary. Some of the clearest thinking happens when you stop trying to fill every moment with noise and give your brain permission to breathe. The lesson: Silence is my new BFF. When the swirl of life is too much, I wake up a little earlier (or stay up a little later) and tune out the noise. The distance from thought to decision or action is much shorter the more quiet time I find.

12. Clap for yourself. Out loud, on purpose. We are terrible at celebrating our own wins. We hit a goal, get a promotion, keep the desk drawers organized for three whole months — and immediately move on to the next thing like nothing happened. When we don't stop to mark what we've done, everything just becomes more pie. The wins stop feeling like wins. And on the other side of it, if you don't tell your story, no one else will — not your boss, not the algorithm, not LinkedIn. Celebrating yourself isn't vanity. It's a practice, and like any practice, it gets easier the more you do it. Write down three wins. Mail yourself a card. Tell a friend. Hoop and holler for yourself like you would for someone you love. You've earned it.

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The Get Going

Thank you for reading. For replying. For forwarding this to a friend who needed it. For showing up every week, even when you were busy, even when life was life-ing. You are why this exists, and you're the reason it keeps going.

Getting free is not a destination — I'm still very much in process. Still learning, still adjusting, still writing lists of things I need to put down. And that's fine. That's the point.

Year two? We're just getting started. We're gathering Freedom Stories as examples of how people are wrestling their lives back and moving forward, and the doors to coaching and Get Free trainings will open very soon. (Thank you all for your input!)

Here's to getting free together. 🥂

To the new GFFs: welcome! You can catch up on the full year at the-get-free-guide.beehiiv.com. Got something you're trying to get unstuck from? Reach out at [email protected]. We don't gatekeep around here.

🚀Get Your Life: Things to read, listen to, enjoy🚀

📚What I’m reading: She’s been very controversial, but I’m reading Start With Yourself by Emma Grede. Just a few chapters in - there’s a lot to get you thinking in there. As always, support local independent bookstores like Octavia’s Bookshelf in Pasadena, CA

🎵 Soundtrack for the week: Birthday Girl by Lizzo seems very fitting!

If you’ve got a recommendation drop me a line.

THANKS FOR READING!

If you got something out of this issue of The Get Free Guide, give us a follow or a shout out on Instagram and share the love with a friend. We don’t gatekeep around here!

See you next week!

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