Welcome to Friday, good people!

How are we doing? Are we drinking water? Getting those steps in? Sniffing fresh air every now and then? If not, take whatever device you’re reading this on and at the very least go and sit by a window or grab some H2O. The bugs and viruses bouncing around right now have been lifting weights and growing abs this winter, ready to knock us all out in this health hellscape. So: take care of yourself. I’ve had a pot of fresh turmeric and ginger tea sitting on the stove all week because I REFUSE to get sick (I know I don’t really have a choice, but prevention is better than cure, right?!) I have no nose hairs left because the ginger is ginger-ing and my chest is as clear as the day I was born, but it’s all good! How are you making it through? Are you reaching for grandma’s remedies? We stay strapped with Vick’s in our house and I will RUB DOWN any living being the minute a sniffle comes my way. Not on the feet though, but some friends swear by it!

Did you know we love getting notes from y’all? Thanks to folks who’ve been writing in to The Get Free Guide - you can email [email protected] or just hit reply to this post. Issue 32 - The Power of Silence got some of you talking about the ways silence shows up for you. After all, how can we get free if we don’t have time to be quiet and think? 

GFF Shana wrote:

I love taking my dog on a walk with nothing but the neighborhood and me talking to her as a soundtrack. 

For GFF Kate silence helps her tap into her faith:

When I’m quiet I feel like I hear more plans for my life and answers to problems that seem hard to process when it’s loud. Silence isn’t an option, it’s essential.

And for GFF Wesley he’s trying to figure out how he can get some quiet time at work:

The people I work with have no concept of silence and it makes it hard to get things done. How can I get free from that?!

OK Wesley, that one made me laugh, but this raises a real question now that many of us are back in the office. How DO we carve out time to be social but also get our heads down and get the work done?

I know y’all have wisdom to share on this one - email [email protected]. Let’s help Wesley out! Remember, we don’t gatekeep here!

I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about this week, but while going through my sketch pad (I can’t draw, but I like the thickness of the paper, lol!) I saw a goals sheet I created for The Get Free Guide last year.

Building this newsletter and community has been a step-by-step, brick-by-brick process full of questions and sometimes doubt. Yes, I get to write, but The Get Free Guide is also a community which requires different skills and a different thought process. Back in September (three months after launch) I set myself a goal to reach 500 subscribers by the end of the year. I was at around 130 readers at the time, so this was a stretch.

To make the goal manageable I set a target of 21 new subscribers each week. I reached out to friends, my broader network, posted on social, made some postcards to hand out at events - all the things. Each week I’d add up the totals and color in a section of the gauge, put it back on my wall and then set off again to find ways to grow the community.

Here’s what I learned:

I didn’t get to 500 subscribers - far from it - and I’m not going to lie, I was really disappointed in myself, like I hadn’t put in the work or that I’d…failed. 

Yes, I said it: failed. That word strikes fear into all of us because we’re taught to avoid it at all costs. But here’s where the Get Free lesson comes in.

Let’s look at the definition of the word, fail. According to Dictionary.com to fail is:

“to fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted, desired, or approved.” 

Yup, by that definition, I fell short of success in something attempted. Womp, womp…

But (we love a ‘but’):  Would we say that the athletes at the Winter Olympics swishing and swooshing down mountains, doing acrobatics on ice or brushing like lives depend on it are failures because they didn’t stand on the podium, or didn’t win gold?

Five-time Olympic freeskier Eileen Gu (now the most decorated female freeskier in history) put it this way when asked if her latest silver medal haul was two golds lost…

“I’m the most decorated female freeskier in history. I think that’s an answer in and of itself…Winning a medal at the Olympics is a life-changing experience for every athlete. Doing it five times is exponentially harder, because every medal is equally hard for me, but everybody else’s expectations rise, right?

"So, the two medals lost situation, to be quite frank with you, I think is kind of a ridiculous perspective to take. I’m showcasing my best skiing. I’m doing things that quite literally have never been done before. And so I think that is more than good enough, but thank you.”

First, let’s give a handclap for the beautiful torching of the journalist’s eyebrows for that non-sensical question. But second - and most importantly - let’s appreciate the reframing towards success. Two silvers ain’t shabby! We don’t have a piece of an Olympic medal between us!

So, while I’m no Eileen Gu and bringing an idea to life isn’t turning half pipes, I didn’t fail with the subscriber goal. I set a target - a big one - and while I didn’t hit it, I DID add over 100 readers. I DID connect with people I didn’t know, I DID host two events (one at my favorite bookstore, Octavia’s Bookshelf!) I DID partner with AfroLA to produce a health guide for all of you (get yours - it’s free!) And I stayed consistent with writing and posting every Friday for six months. There’s a lot to appreciate, and none of it looks like failure. But a steep learning curve, new insights and fresh perspective? Yes, yes and YES!

Getting comfortable with failure and the uncertain. I know, it doesn’t feel right to say, but that’s how we get free. Why? Because failing and dabbling in the in-between (we’ve talked about the “Messy Middle” before) means we tried, we put ourselves out there, and while we may not get the result we want, we may get something even better. Having the will to try means life will never be dull - I mean, NEVER! - and a good surprise might be right around the corner. I mean, you didn’t know that you’d see dogs in a bobsled today, and now, here we are 🙂

I’m approaching the week with a level of audacity and ‘just try!’ It’s giving Year of the Horse energy! But seriously, rather than sitting in fear that something won’t work, why not sit in faith that something WILL work? Not what’s the worst that can happen, but what’s the best?

What does this look like for you? With failure as an option, what will you try? What will you dust off the shelf and do? What’s holding you back?

Reach out and share what you’re working on or what you might need some encouragement with. And if you have advice or examples of “failing” and making it through, let’s hear it! Email [email protected] or reply to this post.

🚀Get Your Life: Things to read, listen to, enjoy🚀

📚What I’m reading: No new books this week - been too busy watching Olympics highlights. What’s on your list?

🎧What’s on the pod: I went on a long drive last week and listened to the Aspire episode with Issa Rae (I’m not on payroll, I promise you - just lots of good conversations!) It really sounds like Issa’s figuring some things out in this season of transition. It was 90 mins long, but worth it.

🎵 Soundtrack for the week: Jilly from Philly is back! Listened to this Tiny Desk while putting the newsletter together. Of course got distracted (I want that shirt/dress!) Enjoy!

✨ If you’ve got a recommendation drop me a line. ✨

If you got something out of this issue of The Get Free Guide, give us a follow or a shout out on Instagram and share the love with a friend. We don’t gatekeep around here!

See you next Friday!