📣Get Free: The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants

Get Free Fam,

Ooooowwwwweeeeee - I’m back on U.S. soil after a few weeks at home (I have many “homes” but I was HOME, like land-of-the-ancestors home. There’s much to say about the meaning of home and getting free - we’ll tackle that in another issue.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to make it home with all of the shutdown-induced flight cancellations. But shout out to the TSA agents (yes, even the ones that take full bottles of hair products!) and air traffic controllers for keeping us all moving. How people can not get paid for work and still show up with kindness and respect is something not everyone can do. Perhaps a lesson in there for all of us.

But before we dive in, it’s been a minute since I introduced myself, and we have lots of new GFFs here, so let me say hello real quick. Hi! 👋🏾I’m Joanne - the creator of The Get Free Guide! I’m a storyteller, convener of conversations, and connector of people and ideas. I also have yet to meet a GIF or emoji I don’t like. I use them liberally. Don’t judge me. 😁

The Get Free Guide brings all of these threads together through this newsletter, short guidebooks, 1:1 conversations and in person events (like this one about our bodies and our numbers coming up on December 5!) Each week we explore different things we’re trying to get unstuck from and want to find freedom in — because life is LIFE-ING! 

The Get Free Guide is a space where we think about and tackle everyday freedoms. We share and learn from each other, so we don’t gatekeep. If you have something you’d like to ask the GFFs or some wisdom to offer, drop us a line (hit reply to the email or reach us at [email protected]) You can also check out the archives to see what we’ve been up to the past few months.

Welcome!

SO, HOW ARE WE GETTING FREE THIS WEEK?

While home I walked … a lot. I LOVE the water, so strolling next to the vastness of the ocean was a real treat, even though the humidity had me fighting for my life every single day (but come through skin and hydrated hair!) I found myself thinking: I wish I could do this every day. And a quiet voice said: “What’s stopping you?” I’ve heard this before but mostly ignored it. But something shifted on this trip. This dream doesn’t want to be quiet any more. 

Here’s the thing — and this isn’t breaking news — we all have things we desire, from the small to the audacious. Sometimes it feels strange to even acknowledge them out loud. The desires of your heart can feel too big, too impractical, too far away. Or we worry about what others might say. So we talk ourselves out of wanting them. But here’s the thing: we can’t really get free if we’re not even acknowledging what’s true for us.

Let me give you an example. I’ve always wanted to work for myself. Always. Years ago I started my own podcast production company, creating content for news outlets, working with business owners to develop their company narratives, and pitching companion pods and branded content to magazines (this is before branded was a thing or there was ANY money in it.) But ultimately I couldn’t make it work. I finally said yes to a regular 9-5 (and happily so) but always wondered what could have been — especially when many pod companies were acquired for not insignificant amounts of money about a decade later. 

Looking back I realized my one problem: I didn’t believe that my idea could really be something. I didn’t have the imagination or the audacity to dream big. It felt unattainable, unrealistic. I also — to keep it 💯 — was waiting for others to “get it”, when really I was a little ahead of the curve (not tooting my own horn, just calling out what I see with the benefit of hindsight.) I don’t live a life of regrets, but I do recognize the oxygen that’s taken out of the room when we don’t name what we want AND fully believe that we’re deserving of such. 

Let me give you another example - this time from my mum. She left her home and her family as a young woman for a new life thousands of miles and an ocean away. She didn’t have a fancy education or degrees hanging on the wall but she worked. And worked. And worked. In the midst of working she always talked about going back home, the English cold was not her ministry. She’s an island babe! It wasn’t clear how she would make it back to the motherland, but she never stopped thinking and talking about it.

One year mum took a trip home for a vacation — and came back with some land. Just a patch of grass marked off with spray paint and some metal pegs, but it was hers. That land sat empty for years while she worked to pay it off. Then once it was paid off she saved more money to get the plans drawn up. And then she saved again for contractors to build what was on the page. Then she packed up everything she owned in a shipping container and sent it back across the ocean she’d crossed four decades earlier with nothing more than a suitcase. And after 15 years of slowly building her dream, she finally moved into her home — not owing a soul a penny. 

My mum didn’t earn a lot of money, but she spoke life into her dream. She didn’t ask for permission or for anyone to co-sign. Her home on the island of her birth was always real in her mind, it just had to take shape in a physical form. There was never any doubt that house — and a retirement in the sun — would exist.  

So here’s the thing: who are we to decide how things will turn out? Who are we to block our own blessings and defer our dreams? Sometimes the movie of your life that’s playing on loop in your head is all the nudge you need — don’t overthink it!

LET’S BREAK IT DOWN

Here’s an exercise I’ve tried which you may find helpful to get out of the “well, I can’t do that” space. 

1. Write it down. Grab a pen and paper, or open a virtual notebook or whiteboard — whatever works for you. Write down all the things that are desires of your heart, big and small. You might not be able to do everything, but give those dreams space to exist, even if only for a moment on that page.

2. Which ones are you drawn to? Then, look at the ones that pull at you. Have a little conversation with them. What are you hearing back? If talking out loud feels … weird, talk it out with a friend (a real one!)

3. Circle the dreams that get you excited. For these ideas, what might it take to bring them to life? Write down what would need to be in place to make the idea happen.

4. Pick one that you can do. Give yourself a win! Taking action on a smaller dream gives you confidence to pursue a bigger dream. What’s stopping you? Is it reality — or fear?

5. For the big, audacious dream, break it down. If I really want to run a 4 hour marathon (ha!) starting with a 5K is a good goal - around 11% of a marathon! It’s the same for any dream or goal: identify the steps you need to take, the resources you might need, the help that will move it along - and then take the steps. It doesn’t have to be fast (remember, my mum took 15 years to build her home!) but if you never start, it will never happen.

6. Remind yourself. Whether it’s a Post It, a screensaver, or a trusted friend tasked with keeping your dream front and center, keep reminding yourself this is something you want. Keep giving your dream life. 

7. Think about who you share your dreams with. Dreams are precious and not for everyone. Sometimes the biggest dream buzzkill is a well intentioned but ultimately not helpful comment from someone who can’t see beyond what THEY would do. When it comes to dreams, it’s good vibes only (and yes, it’s good to have someone who will share wise counsel, just be aware of the haters.)

So over to you! What are you dreaming about? And what’s stopping you? Email [email protected] or just hit reply!

🚀Get Your Life: Things to read, listen to, enjoy🚀

📚What I’m reading: Right now I’m digging into some family tree research, so I’m spending a lot of time in baptism and burial records. That 1800s church cursive is next level. Anyone else on the genealogy train?

🎧What’s on the TV:  It’s Christmas movie season! Even though it was a bazillion degrees outside (aka, not Christmas weather) me and mum watched two holiday movies this past week. My fav was Meet Me Next Christmas with Christina Milian. Also a good one if you’re a Pentatonix fan.

🎵 Soundtrack for the week: Bringing some heat to deal with this Arctic snap. Allison Hines, the Queen of Soca keeping things toasty with Born With It - perfect when you’re exploring your bloodline or just need to warm up when it’s cold. Enjoy!

✨ What are you reading, watching or listening to that’s helping you get free? Send your recommendations for an end of year list! Email [email protected] and add “2025 Recs” in the subject line!✨

THANKS FOR READING!

If you got something out of this issue of The Get Free Guide, give us a follow or a shout out on Instagram and share the love with a friend. We don’t gatekeep around here!

See you next Friday!