Hey Get Free Fam,
It’s good to be back! Last week I downed tools to spend some much needed time with family, talking, walking, exploring, and doing nothing more than being in each others’ company. If you know me IRL, you know that my “small human” is now a tall human, and it feels like the years are flying by. I was looking through some old photos the other day - when I say old, I mean pictures from a year ago. And even though I look the same, the little person in the image is not the adult-sized being now in my house and, lowkey, I’m in my feelings.
My “Mum” moniker is now “Short” and I have eyes almost looking down on me. Like, what in the WHAT?! My only solace is that the hubs is mere months away from “Short” too. What is time, y’all? What. Is. Time?!
Time waits for no one…
The time reminder this week also came wrapped in sadness with the death of a family member. The first of the cousins to leave this world. She had been ill for a while and made the brave decision to stop treatment so she could spend her last days free of being prodded and poked. We never talked about it, but the news of her passing really got me thinking about fear, how it holds us back, how we face it, and the freedom that’s waiting on the other side. Because she really is free now.
Let’s talk about it: Freedom and Fear
Here’s the thing: we’re all scared of something, many things, but how we approach the fear really speaks to how free we can be. Earlier today I was in conversation with an awesome consultant who’s helping me think through some creative endeavors, including The Get Free Conversation Series. We ended up talking about playing things small, which is really just fear dressed up as politeness and a resistance to making big or bold moves.
When I started The Get Free Guide, I did everything to basically write without anyone really knowing it was me. No real pictures on the website, no using my full name on anything connected to the work, and only really talking about the newsletter in certain circles. Why? Fear. Fear of being ridiculed, fear of no longer being taken seriously in my career, fear of... I don’t even know what. Almost a year in, I’m genuinely laughing at the ways I have kept myself and my work small. I can amplify the heck out of other people, but for myself? Not so much.
But here’s the thing. With every newsletter, I’m a step closer to being free. Every time I write, it’s like unlocking a level on a tough video game. You’ve got to play the game, multiple times, to make it to another level or to the other side. Nothing changes if you stay in place and just do the level you already know. In breaking down how I’m trying to get free, and sharing some of the ways many of you are trying to get free, we’re really unlocking fear.
Let me go a step further: unlocking fears and moving to freedom, whatever that is for you, can be especially challenging for women, folks of color, and other marginalized people. I’m not generalizing, just sharing what I see and hear. Whether it’s because we feel tethered to societal norms, the narratives we create for ourselves (or that are imposed by others,) or because we’re working hard to “fit in,” it’s tricky. But small don’t fit and that smedium ain’t gonna cut it!
So how do we get free?
If you are living, breathing, and able, start the thing. While we want change to happen tomorrow, there is no such thing as an overnight success. Case in point: the singer Olivia Dean is EVERYWHERE right now, but her story is a slow burn. Grinding it out as a backing singer, releasing EPs, doing THE WORK. And now, here she is, Grammys and stream plays galore.
If you’ve ever worked on your health, you know that change takes time. Likewise with learning a new skill. Time. Would you want to go to a doctor who passed their medical exam in two weeks? That would be a no. So start the thing. If you don’t, there’s no getting to next.
A great example: “Millennial Manager” Roxy Couse shares how starting her side hustle led to an exit from corporate America, her form of freedom.
@roxycouse Sharing my timeline from when I started creating content to the time I was able to quit corporate and what happened in between. Im also bu... See more
What’s really scaring you?
In the midst of a round of layoffs, I was weighing my options, one of which was going solo and working for myself. I agonized over it until a coach friend said, “What scares you about working for yourself?” The question stopped me because I was forced to really think about what was bothering ME as opposed to taking on the concerns of others. When I sat down and really dissected MY worries, it was easier to make a decision, but also to prepare myself for what may come in the future. We can’t control tomorrow, but we can control how we prepare and create peace for our circumstances. So if you’re not moving something forward, what’s really scaring you?
What do you need to let go of?
In my work with small news organizations, we talk A LOT about what you have to stop in order to make space for what you’d like to start. Letting go of things, situations, relationships, and habits is hard. But even the widest arms can only carry so much. Put some stuff down. Let some things go. Make space for what you REALLY want to do.
Ok, don’t tip over, but let some stuff go!
Let’s TALK!
Need a place to talk about this stuff? Next week I’ll have some news on the launch of The Get Free Conversation Series coming NEXT MONTH! Get on the waitlist for the online discussions and news of some free sessions to get you started. Click on the logo
Hug the folks around you. Do the things you love. Find your free. We’ve got one swing at life. Swing big.
🚀Get Your Life: Things to read, listen to, enjoy🚀
📚What I’m reading: Currently reading Black Out Loud by Geoff Bennett. Yes, THE Geoff Bennett from PBS NewsHour. If you’re a fan of Black comedy, you’ll want to read this. Fun fact: In Living Color is responsible for the Super Bowl entertainment extravaganza. Find out why. Grab yourself a copy!
🎧What’s on the pod: KevOnStage is one funny dude. I finally checked out his podcast Not My Best Moment - all about failures, mess ups and mistakes. Check out this one with Tabitha Brown - good watch/listen!
🎵 Soundtrack for the week: I mentioned Olivia Dean earlier, so I’m taking it back two years to this BBC 1 live session with a cover of Queen Bey’s “Cuff It.” Love it!
✨ If you’ve got a recommendation drop me a line. ✨
THANKS FOR READING!
If you got something out of this issue of The Get Free Guide, give us a follow or a shout out on Instagram and share the love with a friend. We don’t gatekeep around here!
See you next Friday!
