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Hey Get Free Fam
Welcome to the end of the week and to Valentine’s Day/a three-day weekend. There is nothing better in this world than NOT waking up to an alarm on a Monday and I love this for us.
If you’re new here, a big hello! How you doing? Always feel free to drop in with a hi and a question at [email protected] or if this is in your inbox, just hit reply. Getting free isn’t just the big things, it’s the small ways we find freedom on a daily basis. Here are some favorite past issues to get you started; Why Clarity Matters , Bump The Burnout and Cut Yourself Some Slack (and check your inbox for your welcome email!)
It’s all (Bad Bunny) LOVE!
Yes, acknowledging this is a gratuitous use of a Bad Bunny GIF, but credit where credit is due - that was a slam dunk of a Super Bowl half time (OK, field goal is probably a better metaphor. Still you, get what I’m saying.) Benito Antonio Martinez Ocasio did THE THING on his terms, in his way and no one could tell him NOTHING. He exhibits Get Free on ten.
The whole Benito Bowl (because, let’s be real, who was REALLY watching the game?) was a reminder that we can turn up as ourselves - wholly and unapologetically. Just because someone does something a particular way, or there might be an expectation of how you should do a thing - newsflash - you don’t have to. Wasn’t it Burger King that said you could have it your way?
V-DAY, HAVE IT YOUR WAY?!
Let’s take Valentine’s Day as an example. It’s a day of prix fixe meals, overpriced flowers, saccharine-sweet ballads, and Hallmark-branded love that we can all feel pressure to participate in - because the calendar says it’s a day for love. Love can happen any day, at any hour and isn’t the preserve of the Boo’d Up Crew. Now, I’m not about to yuck anybody’s yum. If you like Valentine’s Day, I love that for you! But V-Day got me thinking about the subtle pressures that are baked into so many parts of life and how we respond:
If you’re partnered, you should celebrate each other a certain way. At a certain age, you should be married. Or buying a house. Or at a certain career level. Or living in a certain zip code. Or wearing a certain thing. Or driving a particular car and taking certain holidays.
And sometimes the most radical and freeing thing you can do is quietly (or loudly!) say: “Yeah… no. That’s not actually for me.”
Life and work are linked, for better or worse. Let’s make it easier.
The Get Free Guide is in the lab developing some programs focused on the intersection of work and life. If you’d like to be the first to know about the WORK-LIFE Sessions, please take 5 mins to complete this survey (you won’t need to be signed in to Google to complete!) You’ll receive a WORK-LIFE Guide, plus a discount code to use when the sessions are ready for launch. More details here, or click on the banner! Submissions are open until March 1. Thank you, thank you!
SO HOW ARE WE GETTING FREE?
Since many people will be busy this weekend, we’re keeping this one simple:
Where do you need to set a boundary around doing things your way?
Maybe it’s family expectations.
Maybe it’s friend pressure.
Maybe it’s timelines that were never actually yours.
If you’re navigating boundaries at work, it’s OK to ask questions before you say yes to a request that is above and beyond your role (especially if you regularly show up and give extra)
Examine your bandwidth - do you have time?
Examine how you feel about it - does this project excite you or benefit other goals you have?
Assess what you’re being asked to do. A well placed “Let me get back to you” or “Tell me more about what you need” can help you clarify the ask or deftly step away from the request
Separate your worth from your output: Chile, this is really a WHOLE other issue. However: if your identity is tied to being indispensable, boundaries will feel scary. But here’s the truth: If everything depends on you, that’s a systems problem, not a you issue. You are not required to set yourself on fire to prove value.
Setting boundaries with friends? It’s OK to say no to invitations without making it a thing. “Thank you so much for the invite. I can’t make it.” Likewise it’s OK if you’re not always available. You’re not a bad friend, you’re just making space to show up when you have the right energy.
With family? See friends 🙂
There’s much more to say about this setting boundaries stuff. I have some things in the works that I hope will help (more soon!) In the meantime, how are YOU navigating this area of your Get Free journey? Drop me a line: [email protected] - let’s share some wisdom, because we don’t gatekeep around here!
Choosing what works for you isn’t about being difficult. It’s about having agency and choosing how you spend your life; not at the expense of others, just without abandoning yourself.
So this weekend: Love yourself. Love your life. Love the way you choose to do things. And let everybody else handle their own expectations.
Smooches!
Remember, Shaq love you!
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🚀Get Your Life: Things to read, listen to, enjoy🚀
📚What I’m reading: “It Was All a Dream: Biggie and The World That Made Him” by Justin Tinsley. I LOVE biographies and my good friend Justin is not only an incredible human being, but a brilliant cultural critic and writer. Well worth a read, especially if you’re a hip-hop head.
🎧What’s on the pod: While I’m shouting out Justin, I’ll also drop in a link to the ESPN 30 for 30 series we worked on together about Nipsey Hussle called the King of Crenshaw. Still one of my fav projects!
🎵 Soundtrack for the week: The algo overlords sent me down a Biggie Smalls rabbit hole, so here’s a bit of Sky’s the Limit by the Notorious B.I.G. (It’s Biggie, so this isn’t PG13 language and is NSFW, just FYI..)
✨ If you’ve got a recommendation drop me a line. ✨
THANKS FOR READING!
If you got something out of this issue of The Get Free Guide, give us a follow or a shout out on Instagram and share the love with a friend. We don’t gatekeep around here!
P.S. If you made it here, take The Get Free: Work-Life Survey! Please and thank you!
See you next Friday!
