🔄Get Free: It’s OK To Try Again

Hey Get Free Fam, 

Welcome to October, Q4, Fall (or Spring, depending on your hemisphere), holiday season and the societal blight that is all things pumpkin. I don’t fight, but I will grab a jar of Vaseline and pull off my rings if someone comes at me with that PSL nonsense. No. Nah. Nope. Just WHHHHYYYYY?

Anywho, while I have your attention…

🥁🥁DRUMROLL, PLEASE….🥁🥁

The Get Free Snack and Chat fits into this final stretch of the year, a time of reflection, a season of gratitude and “what can I get done before the ball drops on December 31?” And as the nights get longer and the days shorter the desire to cozy up and turn inwards is real. 

My look inward this year revolves around projects and creative works, things that might be partially done or ideas on a page that haven’t seen the light of day. One such project has been bothering me because - in my mind - I stopped prematurely.

HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED…

Back in 2020 I launched a community for leaders of color in media. It was the depths of the pandemic, the horrendous fall out of the murder of George Floyd and … yea, we were all there and I don’t need to tell you how hard it was. 

But in this community I found connection, camaraderie and a way to feel useful at a time when so much felt so helpless. This community gathered every month for discussions, casual conversations and we tackled some hard things like our mental health, concerns for our children and worries about our industry. In time it grew: a monthly newsletter, smaller group sessions, some 1:1 coaching and mentorship for those who needed it and a few consulting gigs. And then - about 18 months later, it stopped. Or rather I should say, I stopped. 

THE REMINDER

Every few months since 2022, people have asked, “Are you planning to host those sessions again? I could really use one now!” In recent years I’ve wanted to host an event but I didn’t have the bandwidth to really commit. And so, I left it.

I know this sounds irrational, but I felt like I’d let people down - myself included - because I didn’t follow through. I let go of what I valued too soon. It also felt too late to reignite the work because so much time had passed.

One of the gifts of The Get Free Guide is that every week we (you and me!) get a chance to get unstuck. Sitting down and thinking about all of the ways we’re blocked led me to realize: it’s never too late, and - like dear sister Aaliyah (RIP) said, if at first you don’t succeed…

..you can dust it off and try again

Before trying again, I had to sit down and acknowledge a few things:

• You control your time and you have to prioritize what is important. Life will life.

• Even doing a little bit of something is better than nothing.

• Ask for and also accept help.

• Literally no one cares other than you.

SO, HOW ARE WE GETTING FREE?

This is what I did: after a lengthy conversation with someone who kindly nudged me and reminded me of the value of this past work, I went and looked at it, REALLY looked at it. I got inspired by what I’d built in the midst of the pandemic with zero resources and the work that spilled out of it. I popped my collar a little because I had truly forgotten what I’d achieved. This is not to brag, it’s not perfect (very far from it!) but it represents an idea that became an action, that became a real thing that filled a gap I could see.

So this week, I rebooted that email list and (GULP!) sent a message. The world didn’t end, no one complained, there was no “where have you been?” waggy fingers. With one small action, I’m no longer stuck, the guilt lifted and I can move forward. Some lessons learned:

• Find closure: Not closing things out is like living with a loose thread hanging off your clothes. It can be annoying. Close the books on projects and conversations. You can always go back, but for now, put a period at the end of it.

• Stop overthinking: I could’ve sent that message to my email list months ago, and I didn’t because I thought it was too late. Do.The.Thing. It’s not too late!

• Let your ideas live: Even with a delay or stops and starts, when we don’t pressure test our ideas, we miss out on learning and we’ll never know what that grain of an idea could be.

• Trying again applies to so many things! Hobbies (yes, you can pull out those rollerblades again!), relationships, work projects. If that crochet hat you started three years ago is calling your name, try again! Maybe not so much the sourdough bread if that starter has been sitting there all this time. And an absolute no to problematic relationship reboots. Some things have limits!

What are you dusting off and trying again? What’s keeping you stuck or how have you managed to get free from the concern of trying again? Hit reply or email [email protected] - let’s try again together!

🚀Get Your Life: Things to read, listen to, enjoy🚀

📚What I’m reading: I read this a while ago, but dipping into a few pages of Michelle Buteau’s Survival of the Thickest essays. She’s as funny on the page as she is on screen (Support local bookstores!)

🎧What’s on the pod: NPR’s Life Kit: Can you afford to make a big life change?

🎵 Soundtrack for the week: It has to be Aaliyah’s Try Again

✨ If you’ve got a recommendation drop me a line. ✨

THANKS FOR READING!

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See you next Friday!