💭Get Free from ... No Expectations

Hey Get Free Fam, 

First of all, thank you for all the love on the first newsletter drop! Every email, text message, carrier pigeon note, IG share and DM means so much. If you’re new here, welcome! Here’s the first post for you.

Quick reminder: every Friday until June 2026, I’m seeking answers to or trying to tackle things I want to get free from. I know I’m not alone in this, so if you have questions, topics or anything to share with the GFFs (Get Free Fam), reach out. And if you think this post could help someone, please share. Remember: we don’t gatekeep!

So, to this week’s Get Free challenge: dealing with low and no expectations.

I don’t need to tell you that the world is doing the absolute most right now. Wars. Famine. The National Guard in Los Angeles. Everything is on the table. Politically we’re living in a challenging time on multiple fronts across the globe. Socially it’s hard to know who to trust or how to stay safe. And emotionally it’s a struggle for almost everyone, regardless of where they live and what they do. 

CAN WE DO BETTER?

Having these conversations has brought up the question of expectations: what we expect of our leaders, our communities, our close relationships and ourselves. When so much is out of our control we need to know what to expect, what we can rely on, and who we can rely on. While changing course on the social and political landscape will take time, we can - quickly - do something about our close relationships, and how we interact with them. 

SO, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot the past few weeks, especially listening to some of my favorite people share stories of how they’re being treated at work, alongside some of my own experiences outside of the office. 

Now, to be clear, the world is in meltdown, so this isn’t a mountain of an issue, more of a prompt to deeper thinking. I have a few dear friends who - without fail - forget my birthday more often than they remember. I don’t have my birthday on Facebook, so there’s no reminder, and I don’t always have a party on the day in question. I’m lowkey with it so I get why it’s not top of mind. It really used to bother me (before you say it, yes, I do remember birthdays!) but I realized something this year: I have zero expectation of hearing from them on my birthday.

I sat with this and then thought about a recurring theme I keep hearing about on the work front: leaders being expected to do the gnarly work of layoffs and restructures, but with no support. No “how are you doing” and definitely no words of thanks. Just the grim task of being the bearer of bad news. Again, not the end of the world, but not one person I spoke with had any expectation of support during a rough work season. 

WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?

All of this got me thinking: there’s something wrong with having no expectations. On the one hand it can feel like we’re just letting things go and moving to “This is fine.” But on the other, it also means that people and institutions are getting away with too much, simply because I/we have no expectations. We accept the okie doke in everything from our friendships and relationships to how elected officials show up on our behalf. We’re not putting in the work of calling things and people out.

Is this right? Are we letting things slide in the name of peace, but really we’re kicking the can down the road, only for it to kick us in the ass weeks, months or years from now?

TAKE ACTION

So that’s me this week - I want to get free of low and no expectations. There’s too much at stake. Let me know what you think - let’s talk about it. Remember to follow The Get Free Guide on IG for bits and pieces through the week.

🚀Get Your Life: Things to read, listen to, enjoy🚀

📺What I’m watching: I stumbled upon the IG account of AJ Hill (@IamAJHill) and her 30+ part series called Girl Put It Down. It’s about her journey dealing with infidelity in her marriage. This storytelling is setting her free and it’s pretty great. 

🎧What’s on the pod: IMO with our Forever First Lady, her brother and Taraji P. Henson talking about mental health and the power of saying no (even to an inauguration!) 

🎵 Soundtrack for the week: Stuck by Peven Everett. It’s giving UK garage and cleaning your house vibes. Crank up the bass and step it out!!

THANKS FOR READING!

If you got something out of this issue of The Get Free Guide, share the love with a friend who is also trying to get free. We don’t gatekeep around here!

See you next Friday!