Get Free Fam,

Hello, hello and hello, how are you doing? I missed y’all last week, but I decided to give myself some more time away from screens to close out my vacation. Even though it was a time marked by sadness, there was great joy and we had a TIME! There’s nothing like being home with your loved ones, talking trash, laughing loud and just giving thanks for all the things. One of my favorite moments? Bobbing in the sea with my sisters on a random Monday when we all turned around and said some version of: “Being on this island is a trip of a lifetime for many, but for us, we’re just home.” What a gift. What. A. Gift. Keep up with your gifts, y’all. Your ordinary and mundane is someone else’s dream.

Before we dive in this week, if you’ve been sharing The Get Free Guide, thank you! We have a bunch of new subscribers, so if this is your first issue, WELCOME! The Get Free Guide is simple: we’re all living life, navigating the rough and the smooth and sometimes feeling stuck. This is a place to find ways to get unstuck - from the big work things and the ways we get in our own way, to the smaller moments of “I really need to clean out my email inbox.” We host workshops and share practical guides (stay until the end - there are some resource guides and materials) to help you work through stuff. My ask? If you like it, share. This is a community where we ask questions, find solutions and don’t gatekeep. It’s good to have you here!

This week is all about PLAY. I had two other posts ready for y’all, but I had SO much fun yesterday I had to pivot. You’ll have a to wait a few weeks to read about the A-Z of life options and what boobs and bras can teach us about living (these posts are inspired by ALL the things, lol!)

So: My husband is responsible for this post, because he took us all to an event hosted by Love, Peace and Spades - an LA organization that organizes game nights based on Black family traditions. This one was held at Ava DuVernay’s ARRAY campus and it was a VIBE. Now, hubs is a game designer, so this was part work for him, but there was a panel about the importance of play, what it means for us socially and mentally and THAT got my attention.

But then... I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO PLAY SPADES!!! Now, Black people don’t come for me. I grew up in the UK; my folks are from the islands. We played dominoes and rummy. Spades was not in the Black Family Games pantheon (just like I didn’t watch Good Times or The Jeffersons as a kid. You still can’t uninvite me to the cookout. Also, I was not alone! Watch the video…)

I don’t know how to score, but that’s for next time. But I can roll up to the table and not embarrass my family, so, yay!

Then we spent some time at a karaoke spot singing at the top of our lungs (“singing” is generous. Let’s just say we made a joyful noise.) My throat still hurts from two solid hours of making noise, but because I want to stay married, there’s no video from the session. But here’s a cute pic of father and son crooning their hearts out!

We all got home exhausted and happy because we played all day. We stayed out until the streets lights came on. My husband is good at this; he knows how to play (I mean, part of it is his actual work designing games and bringing people together) but what the day highlighted is that I don’t play enough. Honestly, some days I think I’ve forgotten how. My brain is hyperfocused on work, being a parent, being a wife, being a good sibling, daughter, friend. My eyes are crinkling and my brow is starting to furrow because I’m always thinking about serious stuff and trying to figure it out. But play? Not so much. Going to the gym isn’t play; it’s survival. Keeping my home organized isn’t play; it’s maintaining my sanity. My daily walks? Not play, but steps (literally) towards longevity. Even watching my trash show isn’t play; it’s decompressing my brain.

Y’all, we need to PLAY! Science says it’s good for our brains, social connection, and reminds us to be kind and have empathy. So what are we waiting for?

Talking with friends, many shared that they know they need to play more, but don’t know where to start.

So let’s pool our ideas so anyone struggling to think of something can get inspiration from the Get Free community. That’s The Get Through this week.

Drop me an email at [email protected] with something you do for fun or play, a link to information if you have it, and how it helps you. It can be something you’ve been doing for years or started recently. I’ll share the resource guide in September. Let’s PLAY!

📚What I’m looking forward to: September 6-12 is Black Storytelling Week created by Martina Abrahams Ilunga from You Had Me At Black. It’s a great way to be intentional about gathering family stories and histories (bio, chosen, adopted - whatever family is to you.) We spoke with Martina last year about Black Storytelling Week. Take a read, follow the IG and check out how you can get involved.

In the coming weeks we’ll be launching new Get Free Convos - lessons from real people about their freedom journey and what they’ve learned. I’m rewatching this one with Keisha “TK” Dutes about her podcast, The Secret Life of TK Dutes. Got a story about freedom and change you’d like to share? Get in touch - [email protected]

If you got something out of this issue of The Get Free Guide, give us a follow or a shout out on Instagram and share the love with a friend. We don’t gatekeep around here!

See you next week!